Re-spawning.

Getting Back In On the Action


So here's where I'm at right now (other than using horrible grammar): I haven't heard back from work yet (and apparently my 'department' has disappeared from the schedule that they sent out. What does this mean? No clue. I guess I'll find out...eventually...somehow. Really guys, the communication to employees is lacking. Just thought I'd throw that out there.), I'm concerned about this coming year and how everything is going to work out, what with blending everything together and making everything work (These things take routines, people!), and my legs hurt (I am personally boycotting the regular use of stairs until further notice.).


With all these changes going on at work without me knowing, let's just say I've become very familiar with the feeling of uncertainty. And I don't like it. I know that life is overflowing with the stuff (uncertainty that is)--and especially my life--but that doesn't mean in any way that I have to like it. Get used to it? Sure. I did last year at school with the whole room assignment thing, the food card deciding to not work, starting a new relationship knowing that it would be entirely long distance (for a very long time), friend drama (that's putting it mildly), parental health issues, etc you get the point. But really, is it too much to ask that an establishment send out a memo about huge changes? Because if they did, I most definitely didnot receive that memo. I would very much just like to know whats going on. Please and thank you.


And this coming year...well overwhelming and slightly intimidating begin to cover it, I suppose. And the worst part is, whether or not it be true, I feel like I'm really gonna be alone in it. If I don't get into routines with people that I care about (whether they happen naturally or are manufactured), its going to become very difficult very fast to maintain these relationships. This goes for pretty much everybody: friends, parents, boyfriend, you name it. I am really worried about how much time I'm going to have, or rather how much time I'm not going to have. If I want to make enough money for a car, for housing next summer, for food next summer before I get a job, for gasoline, for the other randoms that come up when you least expect them...I am going to need to be working essentially in my sleep. In fact, I'm probably going to have to start volunteering for those experiments that pay for participation (Is it bad that I'm seriously considering that?). So If I'm not working and earning money, then I'll be doing school work. I have to do well in my speech science class. Out of the three gateway classes for my prospective communicative disorders major, its the most if not close to being the most important. And that's just first semester.


Second semester, I'm going to either double-up on com dis classes and take hearing science and language processing at the same time, or I'm going to have to double-up first semester. I need to make an appointment with the department (in my "free" time). I know I'll have to wait and see on the academic stuff, but really, just not knowing (again with the uncertainty) is killing me.


But back to my original point, I have to get into social routines. And its going to take work. I don't want to lose anybody, or the connection that I have with anybody. I'm not sure that I could handle that. Not to mention that I don't want to go through all this on my own--I, like the rest of humanity, don't want to be, or to feel alone.


Long story short, everything takes effort. And the things that have the most worth, take the most effort.


And now, my legs. I would just like to point out that the reason I am personally boycotting the regular use of stairs is not of my own free will. The key word in the previous sentence being regular. Today, due to how sore my legs have become (Thank you lazer tag!), I could very easily be mistaken for having been a duck in a past life.


It is all so very worth it, however. Lazer tag was a blast (See what I did there?)! I don't really know how to describe it other than in an unconventional poem:
Warehouse. Tall buildings with fuggin' huge stairs. Blink-y headbands. Lots of crawling...and the smell of camaraderie.


I've just realized that that could also be used to describe a rave.


I had a great time, and am really glad I went :)