The Complex Art of Applying Equilibrium
Let me ask a question. In general, why is it that people hold each other up to the same standards to which they hold themselves? I'll chalk it up to human nature. I'm guilty of it (okay, I'm guilty of it about sixty percent of the time, if not more), but seriously it just doesn't make sense. Here's why: everybody has a different situation in life, and everybody is just doing their best to keep all the plates spinning.
I'm not saying that if someone spits in your hamburger its okay because 'they clearly have different standards of what's appropriate'... No, spiting in food is still not cool.
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What I am saying is that no one has unlimited time and resources, without which no one can make everyone happy, no matter how hard he or she tries (especially since if one makes everyone around oneself happy, she herself tends to suffer either from not having her own needs met, or from just straight up exhaustion).
Everybody has different prerogatives and priorities tugging at their sleeves, and some require more attention than others. So here's the thing: sometimes we should try to remember that time turners don't exist (why not? Seriously somebody, get on that.), and be thankful for the times that others have had for us. This is something that I've learned this past year from being away at school, and all that goes along with it.
I admit, I've definitely had the thought 'What about me?' But I've realized that really its not a question of choosing one thing over another, or one person over the other and it never has been. Its more of a question of what's right in front of you versus whats slightly behind it.
Like Tetris. You're going to pay more attention to the L-shaped block hurtling towards the bottom than the box-shaped one floating seconds after it. Neither is more important than the other, because they could both potentially make or break your game. The L-shaped block just took precedence because of its current placement, you have more time, even if just a millisecond, to address the box-shape.
That is not to say that there should never be balance. There should always be balance. I know that, personally, balance is something that I really need to work on. And for the record, I suck at Tetris. Its just this: balance is difficult to achieve when your situation is constantly changing (or even if it feels like it is). But that's no excuse. An explanation, maybe, but not an excuse.
Everyone, myself included (myself especially), has room to improve, and that's why the whole 'standards' thing occurred to me in the first place. We're all just doing our best with what we have in the moment, and because we don't all have the same things vying for our attention, it is impossible to apply Bob's standards of living to Tom's, or Tom's to Bob's for that matter. We all just want to do well by the people we care about, and the people who care about us.
Ultimately, I intend to improve my balancing skills despite the difficulty embedded in my current situation because in my opinion, its the right thing to do. And luckily, I have almost impossibly understanding people in my life who empathize with me and are willing to help me learn the (tight) ropes. I have one hell of a safety net, and I'm so very thankful. Love you guys.
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